Sunday, March 29, 2009

Emotional Eating for codependents

How to Overcome Emotional Eating

The problem of emotional eating may end with the scale but it begins in the mind. Stress takes its toll on your life. When your defenses are compromised your health takes a hit and so do your emotions.

Everyone has good days and bad days. How we deal with the bad ones brings emotional eating into play. You look for comfort. People who turn to food for comfort find a coping mechanism that won’t judge them, hurt them or tell them to stop. To complicate the issue, eating can stimulate the release of endorphins just like exercise. So, after you eat, you feel better.

Emotional eaters use food to relieve stress. They hide behind the food instead of seeking solutions to the problems. But, how do you know you are using food in this way? The first sign is obvious. You will gain weight if you eat too much. In light of the weight gain, examine other areas of your life:

* Have you been under stress lately at work or at home?
* Has anything traumatic happened in the last year?
* Are you dealing with a problem but haven’t found a solution?

Answering “yes” to any of these questions could mean that you are an emotional eater. You eat but you are not necessarily hungry at the time. Do you typically choose comfort foods like these?

* High fat foods like French fries, fried foods
* High carb foods like macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes
* Sugary foods like ice cream, donuts, cookies, cake

There is help for emotional eaters. The first step is recognizing that you have a problem. You’ll experience feelings of helplessness and guilt. The guilt is over potentially ruining your health and the helplessness lies in the fact that you don’t see a way out.

Addiction Substitution

I've always followed the problems of over eating as an addiction because for me, over eating is like sex addiction.

What do I mean by that?

Conventional Wisdom in substance abuse remedial thought is that you have to stop using before you can 'get better'


I'm of the opinion that all that's going to get you is substituting addictions:

  • Methadone for Heroin
  • AA 12 step groups for Alchohol (that's right there are people who get addicted to meetings as if that's all there is to thier lives)
What if you're addicted to sex? What are you gonna do... be celibate?

You first mother f****er

What if you're addicted to.. food? What are you gonna do then sherlock?

Both of those addictions require that you ACTUALLY heal from addiction!
There is no substitution for food (sustanence)

What passes for conventional substance abuse recovery is treating the symptom and not going after the root cause... which leads me to admire overeaters annonymous

There is a Yahoo email list that I've spent some time on and recommend it highly. 
(so what's an 'email list'? both Google and Yahoo call thier lists - groups. It is.. an online message board where each post is also emailed to the 'group' or 'list'.  You *post* a question, the whole group see's it online AND they get it in an email)

You're going to have to have a Yahoo email address to do this, that also means you're going to have a Yahoo account. email me if you get stuck, my helping is me doing the 12th step, go out and help somebody else

till next time

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Them's Fightin Words, or Shooting words?

A man who shot and wounded a fellow Internet chatter outside a Westchester Best Buy was sentenced to 30 years.

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This article on the surface seems like just another angry man flying off the handle, look closer and you'll see non functional boundaries at work.

It's not possible to get upset over what others say about you if you have functional boundaries!


William Cruz and Yanko Diaz first met and traded insults in a Latin Internet chat room.

In real life, words turned to bullets.

William ''Cubano35'' Cruz shot Yanko ''Latengoparada'' Diaz in May 2005 outside a Westchester Best Buy. Suspected motive: Cruz was jealous that he was left out of real-life gatherings of chat-room pals.

Cruz, 42, now must serve 30 years in prison, a Miami-Dade judge ruled Friday.

''I think that when you took those actions, you didn't care about the consequences,'' Circuit Judge Julio Jimenez told Cruz.

Diaz, 26, of Hialeah, whose Spanish screen name translates to a phrase indicating his sexual arousal, survived with bullet wounds to the right wrist and the left thumb and buttocks.

''You never know who you are dealing with on the Internet. Clever screen names don't protect you,'' said Miami-Dade prosecutor Suzanne Bell. ``Yanko Diaz almost lost his life when virtual bluster and bravado in a chat room were transformed into real bullets.''


Jurors convicted Cruz of second-degree attempted murder in January. During trial, prosecutors Bell and Suzanne Von Paulus told this tale:

It started in a chat room called ''Cuba1,'' accessed through

''A small group of people would talk about various things. It was a way to meet friends,'' Diaz said in a sworn affidavit. ``It was a specific group for Cubans looking to meet Cubans.''

Chatters included ''El Habanero'' (Havana Man), ''La Gata Fiera'' (The Raging Cat) and ''Dura y Peligrosa'' (Tough and Dangerous). Through chatting, Diaz even met his girlfriend, Yosandra Piedra, ''La Villana'' (The Villain).

Sometimes, the group met socially, sans Cruz. Diaz said: ``I believe this made him jealous and envious.''

Cruz began insulting people for no reason, telling them of his gun and plans to ''empty it on all of us,'' chatters said.

Cruz later claimed the chatters ganged up on him because they mistakingly believed he was mistreating a cyber girlfriend from Sweden.

Somehow, Cruz got Diaz's cellphone number. For weeks, he threatened him.

Finally on May 7, 2005, Diaz agreed to meet Cruz to talk at the Best Buy, 7755 SW 40th St., just past 9 p.m.

But as Diaz pulled up in his black Toyota Camry, Cruz appeared and shot into the car, wounding Diaz as shoppers fled for cover.

''I got you right where I want you and here is the gift I am going to give your mother for Mother's Day,'' Cruz yelled, Diaz remembered.


Cruz told police that Diaz, from behind tinted windows, may have posed a threat.

On Friday, Diaz and Piedra -- who have a son together now -- appeared in court.

A bullet remains lodged in his thigh, causing pain in cold weather and triggering alarms at airport checkpoints, Diaz told the judge.

Cruz was defiant and rambling in court, calling Diaz a liar.

''He truly believes he is a victim,'' said his defense lawyer, Rene Palomino.

Subjective Reality: Time is an illusion- 20 things you didn't know

Time is an optical Illusion... or Delusion Einstein said so
Atheistic or Spiritual? Religious or Spiritual? Time is an optical Illusion... or Delusion Einstein said so.. science uses those equations as gospel. Scientists have been looking at the data and to date, very few of them want to say what's staring everyone right in the face.

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Friday, March 13, 2009

Do man and woman understand love the same way?

What passes for *love* in our society is a shared hallucination

, divorce is when that hallucination recedes (IMHO).

Men perceive love one way, Women another

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Do men and women understand love in the same way, this is a questioned oft posed by the perplexed and disillusioned. Love itself is a state of being, a spiritual condition, a chemical brew. It is a priceless treasure in its power to instill peace, confidence and self esteem, a spiritual fortification to last a lifetime.

It is used as an invaluable commodity because of limited supply to ratios of demand, and the clouds of confusion, pain, battling and suffering in its name. It becomes perversely a weapon, a tool of power used to exploit its devotees and seekers in exchange for devotion or submission.

Men and women both require fidelity, understanding and support. If there exists a disparity in the balance of need, {for example one otherwise independent person is overly dependent upon the other} this leads to an arrogant sense of boastfulness, thus destroying the spirit of love and nurturing in its stead, habitual dependency humans are creatures of habit and loathe to change partners following the investment of much emotion, time and attention.

Some having undergone the adverse travails of love avoid it as one would any implement that had caused injury to ones emotion. Hence the slow but sure demise and death of love in the heart and world. The political stratagems in dominance in a relationship and the overpriced expectations of the other far exceed any sense in grabbing a few moments of ‘’love’’ for what can become a nightmarish inextricable tryst where one bleeds the other.

The unfortunate oft occurring practice is the one bitten twice shy idiom, whereby ones cold and brutal attitude towards love or any purveyors of the same tend to coerce a situation where ones pessimisms is in danger of becoming a self executed prophecy. Man passes through many relationships, and gains understanding and maturity. The objective is to be a master, creator and inspirer of love, that you be able to alight its flame where so your heart desires than be fixated or broken by one who may not be ready for love or has diminished need and understanding …

***Love is a fragile spun thread, broken and shattered as quickly as it is woven and threaded into ones heart. Breathes life into the soul, filling the senses with the fragrant perfume of many summers. It requires but one sharp rebuke to demolish loves temple. Thus it is said love if for the courageous, brave hearted and great souled, for its fires light and warmth bring immortality to the earthbound mortal. Cupids are few and greater lurk the demons of love, preying upon Loves Angels until love is extinguished in envious ire. Thus love itself seeks a sanctum wherein to dwell and flourish, radiate its glorious light, and be freed from the ravages of sinful usurpers... Love that itself spends life spurned and repudiated for its refusal to descend where the hateful dwell. Love itself seeks a refuge in the devout and steadfast heart, how then can mortals condemn Love who themselves have turned for more enticing things of ill deceit, or for newer pastures and more ardent ways…

Love should begin upon passing through all ones trials and tribulations rather than be spurned as one may feel dejected by its cold and harsh administrations. Love is better gained when one least requires it, and none are more beautiful than the spiritually content self absorbed souls. To live is to love and to love is truly living, loved be


This is one example of how exagerated some people's perception of what Love is and what it *should be*.

below are some of the comments to this yahoo answers post:

Sometimes that some 'may' understand love the same way naturally. Although mostly still just really doesn't..I think men and women have distinctive characters of their own and even in both genders. It may also reflect on how they view love based upon their own concept and beliefs or up bringing (influences). Then how they manifest it into their lives..As well as to express it accordingly respectively of one's individuality.
However, I may think of men as that of by masculine in nature are more usually passively with their expressions and how they may understand nor respond to love comparable to women who are the femnine in nature. A relationship builder and a nurturer, as love could be expressed and understood from these natural capacities much better.
No matter how may differences arise. Goals are achieved in love by the balancing of our good qualities & even flawed natures as human creatures. Between a man and a woman..Between a masculine and feminine energy. Love is also manifested in mutual correspondences that link eachother to harmonize, Then it blossoms into the same path of understanding. From there we become love's fullest fulfillment.
My inspiration are all the wiser people above me..& most of all 'love'.


think both understand what love is but have different expectations and also express love differently in certain ways. I think a lot of women aren't afraid to show their true love feelings, whereas some men seem to think it a weakness to show too much love. Thats not to say that there are the odd few men out there that aren't afraid to show their heartfelt feelings all the time, i just think it is maybe a bit easier for a woman to show emotions, especially love, more often...


Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Drug Rehab Really Does Work If It Is Done Right

What Good is Drug Rehab?

With all the media coverage about celebrities "returning" for more drug rehab, some of them for the third or fourth time, many people are getting the idea that rehab doesn't really work. Some people are beginning to think that public funding for drug rehab programs is a waste of tax dollars. The fact is, lifelong recovery from alcohol and drug addiction is almost a certainty when drug rehab is done right.

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The public's lack of trust in drug rehab programs is leading to some dangerously bad ideas, such as putting people addicted to alcohol or drugs on some other drug, or worse, legalizing drugs. These are not solutions, they are problems masquerading as solutions. The call for legalization of drugs is the most compelling evidence that drug rehab is basically a hit-or-miss failure in many, if not most, settings. This is total surrender, a complete capitulation to the power of drugs. It says, "Okay, drugs. You win. Come on in and rule our lives because there's nothing we can do about you."

Putting heroin addicts on methadone is another testament to the failure of most approaches to rehab. Methadone "replacement therapy" is entrenched across the country and around the world. Addicts remain addicted to a "legal" drug instead of an illegal one. The idea of getting free of drugs has simply been abandoned. The thought process that leads to this non-solution is, "Drug rehab probably won't work, and it's going to be too much trouble to try to save this person anyway. At least they won't share contaminated needles and they might get some of their life back. Of course, they're addicted to this drug now, but what else can we do about it?"

Another example of "replacement therapy" is putting drug addicts, and especially alcoholics, on addiction-blocking drugs such as naltrexone. This drug prevents the brain's receptors from responding to opiate drugs and alcohol, and actually works for a while to reduce the craving for the substance. Sounds good, right? The problem is, naltrexone blocks all pleasure responses. Life just turns gray and isn't really worth living. And worse, it can increase the possibility of an opiate overdose, which can be fatal.

In any of these kinds of situations, we are simply trading one drug (and often a new addiction) for another. This makes the pharmaceutical companies happy, but it does not achieve any kind of rehabilitation for the addicted persons. So why are we not putting unfortunate drug-dependent people through drug rehab programs? The answer is clear - many programs have abysmal success rates. They don't have all the elements in place that can make drug rehab successful.

The drug rehab program you choose should empower you, so that you accomplish life long freedom from drug use. It should take you through detox and withdrawal and ensure that you repair the damage drugs have done to your life. It puts you back in control and functioning in society again - enjoying good family relationships, holding down a job and living a successful drug-free life.

All drug rehab programs are not created equal. There are drug rehab centers that successfully address all the issues. If you or someone you care about needs help with alcohol or drug addiction, contact a drug rehab program counselor who knows what works and can help you find a successful drug rehab program.

Rod MacTaggart is a freelance writer who contributes articles on health.